I love my phone. It keeps me in touch with my friends, and my family. It takes surprisingly good photos. It lets me flood the ethereal expanse of the internet with photos of what I’m doing, from the most important events in my life down to photos of my adorable cats.

When we’re at a wedding, it’s so hard not to bring out our phones to share such a wonderful day!

But here’s why we shouldn’t.

Reason #1: You don’t want your guests to be separated from you.

I’ve been taking photos for a long time. Seeing something through a viewfinder separates you from your subject, and seeing them on a screen is even worse. The feelings are dulled, and the memories aren’t what they should be. Your friends are physically there at the wedding ceremony, but you want them to be completely focused on you, don’t you? It may sound selfish, but what else is the ceremony about! As the bride or groom, being able to look out and make eye contact with anybody there is too wonderful to pass up. There’s a oneness to a wedding that makes the entire ceremony seem so special, and it would be a shame to give it up. Not to mention distracting the other people who are there!

Reason #2: It doesn’t look quite as nice in photos.

This one may sound selfish on my part, but you’re going to be getting a photobook, and it’s going to include photos of you, your friends, and your family. The best thing to see are rows of eyes, all looking toward the beautiful declaration of love that’s happening in front of them. It’s incredibly powerful, and you can see it in the photos! Included in this is that your memories are safe with me – I’ve got this. Everyone else can just focus on the magic.

Photo by Jon Bird Photography

If your ceremony is in a church, this likely isn’t something you’ll have to worry about as many have policies against non-professional photography. If not, take the time to consider it.

Bonus: There are exceptions!

The technology available to us won’t just force us apart by taking us out of the moment. In more than half the weddings I’ve been at, someone very important to the couple was unable to attend for one of many reasons. This is where you should think about the magic of Skype or FaceTime. Using a phone or a computer can include a sick grandfather who’s in the hospital, or a sister who’s on a 6 month trek across Siberia. They can be there, even though they aren’t, and I think that’s wonderful.

Family’s always welcome, whether near or far.

At the end, it all comes down to you.

I’m not saying everyone should do things one way. It’s your wedding, it’s up to you! You’ve got a lot of things to plan and think about, and I understand that. All you need to do is consider the question: How do you want your wedding to look, and what do you want your guests to see? Do you want the ceremony to go out immediately to all the people you didn’t (or couldn’t) invite, or do you want to keep everything tight between you and your guests?

Give it some thought, and as always, happy wedding!